Duke Nukem Forever

Wow, this isn’t relevant at all anymore but might as well talk about it.

Alright, I know what you’re thinking, but please hear me out here. This game isn’t as bad as everyone says it is. In fact I might go as far as to say it’s..good, like really good. There’s a big thing this game is (aside from ancient) that a lot of games today aren’t…Truly fun.  I had a great time with this game, it’s not anything intelligent or perhaps something moving story wise, but it’s fun…and funny, like there’s humor in it.

All the other reviews I’ve read, and even Dave said that this game was terrible, the mechanics sucked, and everything about it was just bad and that after 13 years in development, it should be the most perfect game ever to grace our meager lives. Well, to those people I say, thinking like that is a silly way to go about things. The game may have been announced in 1996 but there wasn't continuous work on it. There were two publishers and THREE engine changes…If you're not hip to the game making lingo….it means they had to start over three times. From scratch.

     Yeah the game isn’t the prettiest, but it’s far from looking bad…MK v DC or Fallout are on the same level graphics wise. The gameplay is pretty solid, it does that whole FPS thing right with the guns shooting and if they get shot, the enemies die. The weapons are unique, sure there’s the pistol and the shotgun but there aren’t too many games that let you have a shrink ray, a freeze ray, and let you throw rats at enemies. Also another thing about the weapons, they feel ballsy. I’m sure Duke wouldn’t have it any other way. When you shoot of the shotgun, you start to feel your pants get tight…or is that just me?

The variety in this game is really something that doesn’t get done in any genre today. All the different things you do, like driving or platforming, swimming. It mixes up the gunplay enough to keep you interested in what’s coming next. I’m hard to find one example that can compare. In all honesty (and I’m sure if anyone reads these there might be a lot of anger over this) I kept thinking of Half Life Two.  (no it’s not that good, but it’s as varied and almost as fun). It’s potty humor and its 90’s mentality is similar to Conkers bad Fur Day (which if you haven’t played yet, go fucking do it).  

That’s another thing, you can play with everything! Vending machines, faucets, weights, pinball…sure they’re just little additions, but they’re fun to spend a minute on (except for air hockey and pool both of which can suck major cock and go fuck themselves to the next dimension, seriously they’re terrible and necessary for an achievement so if you’re into that, good luck)

I suggest to anyone who has played the older Duke games to at least try it, there are a lot of nods to the older years and a lot from the older style of game play. I recommend to the people that haven’t played a shooter before halo, try it, it’s a good window into what shooters were, a good way to get your feet wet, and maybe you’ll want to go back and play the older games (I mean Duke3D is on xbla so why not?).

I think it’s very important to go back and see where you came from, and if you turn your brain off, sink down to your primal bro level and just absorb the immaturity, you’ll find yourself having a lot more fun with this silly romp, than you would with days in Call of Duty.

Tl; Dr

+FUN, yeah the three letter word that doesn’t get a whole lot of attention now-a-days, this game is a lot of it.

+Lots of styles of gameplay that will keep you guessing and breaks up the gunplay enough to make you want to keep playing.

+ Great for old school gamers to get a nostalgia kick and great for new school gamers to see their roots

+Duke’s the fucking king

+/-You can throw around a turd (yeah it’s an achievement)

-  It’s immature, which isn’t always a bad thing, but it’s a little much sometimes (boobs galore though)

-Dated…the graphics, the plot, the references…if it came out maybe 3 or 4 years ago it would’ve been ground breaking.

-Had the misfortune of being hyped for 13 years…sure there was a lot going on, but yeah they maybe could’ve sped this up a bit no?

Bottom line: Try it. Don’t expect the world to shake, but try it.

-Nick